To: Make Your Face Better
From: Lindsey Fletcher
Date: 3/27/12 6:55 a.m. 
Subj: Cash’s 3rd Birthday!

Hi y’all!!

I know this is last minute but these days that seems like the only way I do things!! We are going to celebrate Cash’s birthday on Saturday in fort worth. We are going to meet for lunch at 11:00 @ McKinley’s Cafe & Bakery in University Plaza, and then we are going to head to the Zoo!!! 

Everyone is welcome to join us for lunch..the zoo…or both!! It is going to be a beautiful day to spend outdoors!

I know this is short notice… so don’t worry if you already have plans and can’t make it, we understand!

Please let me know if you will be attending lunch so I can have a head count.

Thanks!!

Love,

Lindsey

To: Lindsey Fletcher
From: Make Your Face Better
Date: 3/27/12 3:30 p.m.
Subj: Re: Cash’s 3rd Birthday!

Hi Lindsey - this was very last minute, but you’re right — it’s so you. 

Good news! I think J**** and I will be able to make it, which will be a bit of a schlep for us. She of course will be coming from Montana, but we think we have arrangements that will work. 

I’m concerned about the itinerary once we get to Forth Worth however. I’ve looked at several Yelp reviews, a lot of good things were said about the strawberry cake, but sounds like the french toast is weird. I guess we’ll wait to see whether we’re in the mood for lunch or brunch (or both!) on Saturday. 

I also am concerned about this visit to the Zoo. Having not been to a zoo in a long time, I’m wondering if it might be too much to handle for young Cash. What kind of animals does he enjoy? I’d like to get a proper present for him (or her) but I don’t want to scare him. Would he enjoy the Lion King? I think the Circle of Life is an important lesson to instill early on in a young boy/girl’s life.

I had some plans, but as long as I don’t have a blow out friday night again (lesson learned: just because the G&T’s cost $3 bucks doesn’t mean one has to have 6 of them) I think I’ll be able to partake. 

As I mentioned, J**** could be coming along as well, so we might have to make adjustments to the head count. Julia and I each have one head. 

Warmest regards,

Make Your Face Better

Origin unknown:

Once upon a time in Seattle there was a delightfully young child named Zachary Taylor. Zachary was jut like any other kid, he likes sports and loves pizza. One year, 1993 to be exact, on April Fools day he was riding his bike. Nearby, some people were building a new road. he was riding, and he didn’t see a Steam Roller COMING STRAIGHT FOR HIM!!!!!! (He was too busy looking at a girl.) He didn’t move! He got flattened. Zachary said “Oh no, I’m gone with the Schwin!” for which he was. He came riding home to his house saying “Tra-la-la, Tra-la-la”. He explained to his Mother. She said “You little !@$#& !”* (*it was something very bad!) The next day he and his father went for a walk.
His father dropped the key to the lock for the dog leash. They were walking Alva, the family dog. Zachary went in the tiny little hole and got it!!!!

The next day his brother was crying.
Zach asked “What is the matter my three-dimensional friend?” “I want to fly a kit, but to fly a kite you have to have a kite” his brother explained. Zach said “We could make one with sticks and a cloth!” So they did. Soon after flying for a little while a little breeze forms. It blows little brother’s kite into a tree! Zach said “Shoot me up in a rubber band!” They got he biggest rubber band and fired him up. He went up about 50 feet! Remarkably, he came down and landed in the tree and got his brother’s kite! It was fine! But, for the rest of Zach’s boring life he was flat. Once he had the opportunity to become normal. He totally 100% disagreed with the doctor’s chance of a lifetime to fill him up with air. After he had gotten flattened he had forgot was normal was. Zach said “Normal, that’s a word I hven’t heard in a million years.” 

THE END

(ca. 1994)

MILKMAN CHAPTER 1

It’s early morning in Ellensburg Washington. A loud bang has been heard by a cereal box packaging plant. Sirens erupt and Rice Krispies Box runs out and hides in a dumpster. The Evil Cereal box has been born.

Meanwhile, in Lake Tahoe California, milk has been spilled in a special chemical called “Turpentoon”. Now there is Milkman. The Evil Cereal box has been conquering grocery stores everywhere. Fifteen kids have been turned into cereal pieces and have been eaten with delight by uncaucious adults. 

Milkman has heard about this disgrace and calls his Uncle Jack.

“You’re tellin’ me, you are a super hero made of milk boxes I’ll get the varmint who did this!” Jack said.

“I did this. Do you want to by my assistant ‘Spoonman’?” Milkman asked.

“Do I want to be a super hero?! You bet your bundle I do!”, exclaimed Jack.

Read More

From jackie-chair

Hello Boss,

We are an office chair factory locate in Shunde district, Foshan China, professional in manufacturing secretary/manager chairs and sofa, with competitive price and high quality furniture, we believe you will save more cost and satisfy with our qualified chairs.

If you were interested in knowing more about our chairs, simply reply this important email to get our wholesale price with detailed product information. Welcome any inquiries.

Best regards.

Jackie
( +86-13776089114 )
KangYu Office Furniture Factory
Address: #10 Mid-Road of Paisha Industrial, Longjiang, Shunde District, Foshan City , Guandgong Province China .
T:0086-757-28682885 28682886
F:0086-757-28682885 28682887
Website: www.kychairs.com
Email: kychairs2@163.com

To jackie-chair:

Dear Jackie -

Thank you for this important email.

I require more information about your chairs. I need to know what kind of people can sit in the chairs, and what chairs go best with what people. 

Please send me pictures of the chairs.

Thank you,

Colonel. Make Your Face Better
Chief Executive for Furniture
Make Your Face Better Industries
America

From jackie-chair:

Dear Mr. MakeYourFaceBetter,

Thanks for your quick response. Have you container leave from Foshan this month?

Kindly please check attached our knock bottom wholesale price list, valid for 30 days, chair pictures, CBM, size, material and all necessary information has been contained, check out your favorable models and quantity you may want to order, so that we can prepare PI accordingly, discount is from 5% to 10% denpend of different order quantity.

You may send us your inquiry, we can OEM for you if with reasonable quantity, waiting for your further inquiry soon. We will be on holiday from Jan. 16th to Feb. 10th 2012, for urgent matters please call my mobile.

Best regards.

Jackie

Attachment:

To jackie-chair:

Dear Ms. Jackie-chair,

The prices I saw are disgraceful. I need to see better discounts. And the pictures were very small and hard to see. Can you send me a picture of your finest chair?

I have a supervisor at the office with certain requirements for his furniture. He asked me to make sure only the finest chair for his office, and to make sure it would bring all the boys to the yard.

Also, Mr. Carter wanted me to make sure that there was a throne that we could watch. Is that possible with any of your products?

If you can also please take a picture of you or an associate holding a sign that says “Make Your Face Better” that will show a sign of good faith for our potential future transactions.

Please use the future well, it is the only one we have.

Col. MakeYourFaceBetter
Director of Posterior Positioning / Beverage Science, MakeYourFaceBetter

From jackie-chair:

Dear Mr. Col MakeYourFaceBetter,

Our finest chair models as bellow mentioned, 3100A, 5065A, 3065-2A, 9013, 8013, 2013, 9315. You can check large photos of our chairs from our website: www.kychairs.com , the web speed maybe a little slowly, please wait and check out your favorable models, I’ve attached some models, but not all, you have to check out your favorable models, or else you can send us your wanted chairs/sofa photos and quantity of each, we can quote for you quickly.

We’ll be on National Spring Festival Holiday from January 15th to February 7th, for urgent matters please call my mobile if I haven’t reply you on time.

Please check and let me know your reply soon.

Best wishes.

Jackie

Attachments:

To be continued…